A Superhero's Christmas in Midgard
by ConeycatJr
Summary: From a prompt on norsekink, and with apologies to Dylan Thomas.  Even superheros-and supervillains- like to spend Christmas with their families.


(From a Christmas prompt on Norsekink.)

**A Superhero's Christmas in Midgard** (with apologies to Dylan Thomas.)

Tony didn't really start to worry until Thor and Bucky had been gone for over three hours.

"Did he say he was stopping anywhere?" he asked Steve, for the third time.

"No, just that they were going for a walk," Steve replied, also for the third time.

"Where could they be spending three hours on Christmas Day?" Tony demanded. "I know he always takes the dog for a long walk on Christmas, but this seems like a little much."

"I'm sure there's nothing to worry about," Natasha said worriedly. "It's not like Christmas is a big deal in Asgard, or that we had plans."

"Yeah, he's a big boy," Bruce agreed, anxiety making his ears turned minty-green. "I'm sure he'll be back soon."

"Or... we could go looking for him," Clint suggested.

"We can do better than that," Tony replied. "JARVIS, can you put a trace on Bucky's microchip?"

"Certainly, sir," JARVIS replied serenely. Tony activated a local map, in the hopes that Thor and their dog had not been abducted by, for instance, a supervillain claimed by Thor as family, and magically transported to a dimension filled with tentacled monstrosities.

Well, Thor, Tony amended in his mind. Evil as he might be, Tony was quite sure Loki wouldn't do such a thing to the dog. In fact, it would be just like him to drop Bucky off at home on his way to the Dungeon Dimensions. However, what he might then do to Thor did not bear thinking about.

A moment later, JARVIS had the coordinates and displayed them on the map. Bucky, or at any rate his microchip, was in Brooklyn, at an address Tony knew to be that of an old chocolate factory converted to lofts.

"You don't suppose Thor is visiting a friend?" Steve suggested tentatively.

"He's visiting someone," Tony agreed. "But there's no telling if he's doing so willingly. I think it's best if we drop in."

~oOo~

It was dark when the Avengers landed on the roof of the old factory. Tony checked the coordinates again and whispered, "They're being held in the unit on the top floor, north-facing corner. Come on."

As it happened, the unit in question had access to the roof. The Avengers were approaching the door when Tony's listening devices picked up, quite clearly, Thor's voice saying urgently,

"No, Loki, you must not!"

Without hesitation, Tony blew out the door of the loft and the Avengers charged in.

Just as Tony's listening devices- and then his ears- caught the sound of Thor's evil little brother replying, with supercilious impatience,

"Well, this is what the recipe tells me to do!"

Tony skidded to a halt in the entryway, the Avengers piling up behind him, staring at the strange sight that met their wondering eyes:

Thor, obviously unharmed, elbow-deep in a turkey carcass he was clearly preparing to be stuffed. Instead of, or perhaps over, his armour he wore a bright-red sweater with a snowman knitted into it. A Santa hat perched on his blond head.

Bucky, sitting alertly next to him and clearly hoping for giblets, was wearing a collar studded with festively jingling bells. There was a set of reindeer antlers on his head.

And, by the stove, wielding a wooden spoon over a savoury-smelling pot, was Loki, wrapped in a festive apron under which he was wearing a green sweater, into which had been knitted a colourful Christmas tree, complete with ornaments. He spun around as the door hit the opposite wall, glared at the Avengers, and shouted at Thor,

"If you had told me you were bringing guests, I would have purchased sufficient eggnog!"

"I swear, brother, I did not know they were planning to attend," Thor protested.

"Well, no matter, I believe the bodega on the corner is still open," Loki replied, and vanished.

The Avengers traded confused glances as they looked around the loft, a large open space with a staircase in one corner that led up to the sleeping area. Before the wall of windows that comprised one end of the loft was a huge fir tree, decorated with colourful ornaments, mostly red and gold. There were a number of brightly-wrapped parcels under the tree. The railing that bordered the stairway and sleeping area was wrapped in evergreen branches.

And in the dining area in proximity to the kitchen space was a table set for two. Sitting in the middle, like a centrepiece, decked out in golden tinsel and hung about with tiny ornaments- including what appeared to be a small toy partridge clinging to the curve of the left-hand horn- was Loki's ridiculous helmet.

Before the Avengers recovered from their surprise, Loki reappeared at Tony's elbow, startling him considerably. He was clutching what appeared to be a bulging organic-cotton reusable shopping bag.

"I was fortunate: Mr. Delgado was just preparing to close the store and return home to his family for their seasonal feast. He wishes you a Merry Christmas, brother," Loki announced, brushing past the Avengers and adding over his shoulder, "Do not stand about in the doorway. Thor, why have you not invited your guests in and provided them with libations?"

Thor, still elbow-deep in the turkey, shrugged. "My hands are in no condition to handle glassware, brother. Please, my friends, come in. Tony, perhaps you can assist us- " He nodded toward a kitchen cabinet. "There is rum on the top shelf, glasses beneath, eggnog in the refrigerator, and I believe the nutmeg is on the spice rack near the stovetop."

Steve finally found his voice.

"Are you trying to tell us that you've been gone all this time because you're..."

"Spending Christmas with a maniacal supervillain bent on world domination?" Tony blurted.

Thor frowned. "I am spending Christmas with my brother," he corrected.

"Who is a maniacal supervillain bent on world domination," Tony insisted.

"Well, yes," Loki shrugged, "but is it not the season for peace on Midgard and goodwill toward men, women, and alien gods from other realms?" Bucky made a noise in his throat and leaned against him. "And, of course, toward large and splendid dogs," Loki added, leaning down to rub Bucky's head with his elbow, being careful not to dislodge the reindeer antlers.

"Also," Thor added, stepping carefully around Bucky to retrieve a bowl filled with what smelled like sage-and-onion bread stuffing, "my brother is an excellent cook."

Loki looked pleased and perhaps a little flustered at the compliment.

"It is mostly a matter of following the recipes," he demurred. "And I have a most able assistant. Come in," he repeated.

Steve looked painfully embarrassed. "We don't mean to intrude," he said weakly.

Loki raised an eyebrow. "Ah. I perceive that you did not arrive planning to consume Christmas dinner with us. Perhaps you believed I had kidnapped my brother and was even now delivering him to befanged and hungry beings from another dimension?"

This was so close to the truth that Steve's ears turned as red as Thor's sweater. Thor, meanwhile, frowned in disbelief.

"On Christmas?" he protested.

~oOo~

The nice thing about dropping in unexpectedly on a magical being for dinner was the fact that re-setting the table- and indeed, letting it accommodate four times as many people- was a simple matter of casting a quick spell.

Steve offered to help and was put to work mashing potatoes, while Tony lured Bucky out from under the feet of the cooks and then repaired the door. They made quick work of even the extra eggnog Loki had bought, and Clint and Bruce were just about to go off into the night in search of more when Natasha remembered an old family- she did not say her own family- recipe for eggnog, and whipped up a batch, which everyone agreed was much better than the kind that came in a carton.

All the Avengers later agreed they had not had such a Christmas dinner in years. The turkey was moist, the stuffing had just the right consistency and level of seasoning, while the cranberry sauce was a bright, clear red, like Thor's cape, and was almost too pretty to eat. They passed around steaming serving bowls of vegetables and gravy until no one-including Bucky- thought they could eat another bite, at which point the table magically cleared itself, and Loki and Thor brought out pies and plum pudding- flickering with magical green fire and smelling of brandy- and shortbread.

When no one-including Bucky- really, really could eat anything else- Tony actually thought he might have to get a team of engineers to let out the seams of his suit- the table cleared itself again, dishes washed and on the drying rack before their eyes, and old-fashioned Christmas crackers appeared before everyone. Too deep in turkey coma to even worry about the possibility of explosives, the Avengers and their host happily broke open the crackers, which released puffs of bright-coloured smoke that smelled of cinnamon and evergreen, followed by beautiful magical creatures that fluttered brightly above their heads and disappeared.

"That was wonderful," Steve said earnestly. "Thank you so much for having us over." He looked to be about to suggest they take their leave when Loki said quickly,

"You must not leave yet, you have not opened your presents."

Tony opened his mouth to demur, then looked at the tree and noticed the pile of presents was a little bigger than it had been.

"They are not much," Loki fussed, "just a token of the season."

And in fact, under the tree was a package addressed to each Avenger, which turned out to contain a hat, mittens, and scarf set, each in appropriate colours: red and gold for Tony, red-white-and-blue for Steve, a nicely contrasting dark green for Bruce, and black with colourful red or purple accents for Natasha and Clint respectively.

Bucky received a new nearly-indestructible chew toy, a package of biscuits, a sheepskin liner for the cushioned basket he only ever used if he could not persuade an Avenger to let him sleep with them, a red-and-green collar and leash for the festive season, and a green ceramic water bowl with BUCKY'S DISH painted on the bottom in red, apparently so that no one would accidentally appropriate it for use as a cereal bowl.

Thor and Loki simultaneously opened what turned out to be hideous knitted sweaters, one red with a slightly misshapen Santa descending a chimney on it, the other green and ringed about with everything from three French hens to twelve drummers drumming all around the waist band. It was, without doubt, the ugliest Christmas sweater anyone had ever seen.

"I concede it freely, brother," said Loki, when he had stopped laughing and had used the cuff of his new sweater to wipe his streaming eyes, "this year, you are victorious."

"It is truly remarkable what one can find at the Christmas craft fairs outside the city," Thor replied, face glowing with pleasure.

It was well into what Thor and Loki assured the others was Boxing Day when the Avengers finally took their leave. Thor stayed behind.

"There is a movie on the television, concerning a man visited by the spirits of Christmas, who are portrayed by Muppets," Thor explained. "My brother and I always watch it together."

"And afterward, I see there is to be the cartoon about the boy with the round head and his scrawny Christmas tree," Loki announced, studying the _TV Guide_. "You will enjoy that, brother."

"I will see you later in the day, unless there is some emergency that forces us to assemble earlier," Thor promised his companions.

"Not much danger of that tonight," Steve assured him.

"He will bring you turkey leftovers," Loki added, over his brother's shoulder. "There always seem to be more leftovers than there was turkey to begin with, is that not so?"

"It is puzzling," Thor agreed.

"Merry Christmas," the Avengers chorused as they headed for the door, all of them carrying- or wearing- their own Christmas presents and carrying Bucky's. Loki and Bucky were already stretched out on the couch, fiddling with the television remote, when Thor saw the others to the door.

"I hope you do not mind, but my brother has cast a spell that will prevent you from remembering the location of his lair," Thor explained, as he wished his friends goodnight. "He has just gotten this one nicely decorated, and he prefers not to abandon it just yet."

"After a dinner like that, he's welcome to prevent me remembering anything he likes except the food," Tony assured Thor, and the others made noises of agreement as they walked down the hall. Thor waved from the open doorway until they reached the stairs. From within the loft, they heard Loki's voice call out,

"Happy Christmas to all!"

"And to all a good night," Thor agreed, laughing, and closed the door.


End file.
